Saturday, April 10, 2021

Michigan Home Inspector Assaults Elmo

Although it's tough to beat Florida as a source for weird and wacky stories , it seems like my home state is making a pretty good case for having FAR more than its share of nutjobs.  

Although former New Yorker writer and CNN analyst Jefferey Toobin made news for getting in touch with himself during a Zoom call, at least he had the weak sauce argument that he was in his own home and supposedly thought that the call had completed and the camera/audio was off. Supposedly. But Michigan home inspector Kevin Wayne VanLuven didn't even have that fig leaf of an excuse. No, VanLuven was doing a home inspection and apparently found the prospect of a little me time with an Elmo doll to be too good to pass up. Unfortunately for this puppet molester, he didn't realize that his tickle me Elmo caper was caught on camera. 

A 59-year-old home inspector caught on camera during a home inspection allegedly pleasuring himself with an Elmo doll was charged in district court Wednesday on two misdemeanor counts. VanLuven was arrested Wednesday without incident by members of the Sheriff’s Office Fugitive Apprehension Team. His arrest stems from a March 12 incident at the home of an Oxford Township couple who were having their home inspected by VanLuven prior to its sale at the request of the prospective buyers.

The couple told detectives they let VanLuven and the buyer’s real estate agent into their home and left during the inspection. A nursery camera alerted the phone of the 22-year-old female homeowner that there was movement in the nursery. She checked her phone and allegedly saw VanLuven in the nursery.

As she continued to watch, he allegedly began touching himself and she began recording the incident. VanLuven then picked up the doll from the nursery floor and appeared to be pleasuring himself with the doll. He then returned it to its original location.

You must be very careful about whom you let into your home. There are a lot of sickos running around. They look normal but they are far from it.
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