Prior to the nineteenth century, it was permissible and
expected for a husband to “physically correct” his wife. Men were the head of the household, and many
beliefs (including some interpretations of Christianity) believed it okay for a
man to lay his hands on his spouse. As
with other despicable acts, many supporters of “domestic discipline” used the
Bible to justify their actions, specifically those verses that focus in on the
various roles between a man and a woman. Ephesians 5:22-24 says:
"Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even
as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also
wives should submit in everything to their husbands."
Many Christian scholars and representatives say that men who
use Ephesians 5:22 to justify their behavior are taking the Bible out of
context and should love their wives as they love themselves. However, there are some out there who still
believe that it is the man’s duty and right to correct their spouse, like the
Christian Domestic Discipline (CDD). The
CDD even goes so far as to explain when and how to “correct” the Christian
woman:
Rebuke and Lash. This
is the harshest discipline a husband should administer, and it should always be
done privately and with Godly, Biblical love.
Usually, exhortation will have already taken place before this method is
used, but there may come situations where this is the first step. The rebuke and lashing should be administered
with a calm heart. Talk to your wife,
let her know you are serious, and tell her why she is to be disciplined
physically.
The website goes on to explain how to “administer physical
discipline” explaining how to place the woman, where to strike, and what to
use (i.e. hand or strap).
Of course, the CDD is an outlier. Starting in 1850 when Tennessee became the
first state to outlaw domestic spanking, the rest soon followed. Popular opinion on this issue changed. This led to political changes. Today, domestic spanking no longer
exists. Any form of physical contact is
correctly called Domestic Violence, or ABUSE.
There have been many advancements made in the areas of
Domestic Violence. We know that this
type of behavior not only has physical consequences, but mental as
well. Victims of domestic violence can
suffer from stress, fear, anxiety, depression, various panic disorders and
Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).
Victims of Domestic Violence are at a higher risk of committing
suicide.
I think we all can agree that Domestic Violence is a
terrible thing and thanks to scientific advancements and change of opinions we
have a better understanding of the effects of physical abuse. Gone are the days of one human being
physically correcting another human being… unless of course you are a
child.
While public opinion changed men beating their wives, the
public hasn’t quite caught up to changing how children are disciplined.
Like spousal discipline just over a century earlier, many
parents (especially Black parents) correct their child’s behavior by using
physical contact. And, just like spousal
discipline, many proponents use the Bible as justification. While “spare the rod, spoil the child” isn’t
in the Bible, it’s roots begin in scripture:
“He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth
him chasteneth him betimes.” Proverbs 13:24
“Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child, but the
rod of discipline will drive it far from him.” Proverbs 22:15
Now studies are showing that the same physical and mental
issues that come from domestic violence are showing up in children that have
gone through physical discipline. A new study conducted by the American Academy of Pediatrics shows that a child who is
spanked, slapped, grabbed or shoved as a form of punishment runs a higher risk
of becoming an adult who suffers from a wide range of mental and personality
disorders. Physical punishment, short of physical or sexual abuse, psychiatric
disorders include: depression, anxiety disorders, mania and drug or alcohol
dependence, paranoia, antisocial behavior, emotional dependency and
narcissism. Because there are many other
environmental issues that can lead to mental disorders, the study checked and
found that there was still an increase in mental disorders even in families
where no dysfunction or parental mental illness is evident.
The parallels between spousal discipline and child
discipline are remarkable. Both used
physical contact to “correct” unwanted behavior, both have used the Bible for
justification, and both lead to physical and mental disorders. Yet we’ve evolved to acknowledge one as
domestic violence. The other, well, that
conversation never occurs because we would never want to tell another parent
how to raise his or her own child.
The evidence is there.
We’ve corrected our wrong behaviors in the past. Do we have the courage to do it again? We have to unlearn what we’ve learned. You substitute spouse for child and what is
the difference between the old laws of the 19th century and today?
Thoughts?
