Monday, February 20, 2012

A World With No Black People

Okay, so I awoke from my gentle slumber to read about a nobody named Jenny Hyun, a song writer for the group Girl's Generation, who decided to go on a racist twitter spree and insult the entire black race in response to a single misguided tweet from Floyd Mayweather.  No, it's not that you aren't keeping up with pop culture, I've never heard of her either.

Now, I am pretty level-headed about these things, so I kept calm, and I read the entire article a couple of times.  First, I wanted to see if this was a joke.  Next, I wanted to find out who held a gun to her head.  And lastly, I tried to figure out what her motive was, other than mental illness, to tweet such ignorance and insult an entire race based on the words of one person.  Then, I read her "apology" for the third time where she says "I regret nothing," and her attack on the recently deceased Whitney Houston, and then it hit me: this wanna-be is trying to drum up controversy so that she can become more popular.   Well Missy, you're getting no more pub from the The Urban Politico.

Maybe she wants a reality show or a movie deal, or hell maybe she wants a sex tape with Ray J.  In any case, her tweets were so incredibly stupid that I am NOT going to reprint them here or link to them, nor will I waste any more precious paragraphs on her.  That's right, this post is not about the brainless, psychotic, callous,  jealous, non famous co-writer, whom I've never even heard of. So, what am I writing about today?  Glad you asked!

 Well, lately I've been thinking about all the racial  tension over remarks made about my girl Whitney, and since this is Black History Month, and since I was going to do a post highlighting black achievements any way, I thought to myself, "why not do a post on what life would be like if black people never existed?"

Accordingly, here are my top ten descriptions of what life would be like with no black people:

10.  The world would never know what vocal perfection sounds like. [Whitney Houston]

9.    The Moon Walk would only exist on the moon. [Michael Jackson]

8.    Sky scrapers would exist just to look at because there would be no elevators to go up and down.  This means New York City would be made up of three-story buildings. [Alexander Mills]

7.  You would have to cut your grass with shears because you wouldn't have a lawn mower. [John Burr]

6.   A sub 10 second 100-meter sprint time would still be referred to as "impossible." [Jim Hines]

5.    The USA would be still in development because the necessary labor force to till and farm the land would not have been found until machines came along.

4.    Writing, glass, and wheels may have been invented only recently (within a couple hundred years). [Fertile Crescent]

3.   Politics would exist only at the national level. [Fertile Crescent]

2.   Civilization and education, along with plant and animal cultivation would not exist or would still be in development. [Mesopotamia]

1.  NO ONE else would be here, that's means YOU, Miss not-famous-pop-song co-writer. [Lucy, oldest human, found in Ethiopia]

Help us celebrate Black History Month.  What other black achievements or fun facts can you think of?

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