Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Frontrunner Follies

It's Tuesday... Which means we are another week closer to next year's general election in which we will elect the President of the United States. The choice will be between President Obama and one of the eight candidates running for President on the GOP side. The eight candidates will face off once again tonight in yet another debate. Tonight's discussion will focus on foreign policy and national security, much like the last debate. But sure to come up during this debate is what comes up in all of them, the follies each of the candidates have faced/made since they announced their candidacy for a job no one really wants but everyone thinks they can do.

You may have noticed over the last few weeks some of the GOP candidates have had a tougher time in the media than others. Specifically the front-runners. While some Candidates can't even buy a good controversy others seem to attract it.

So let's jump right into it and take a look at the candidates that have faced some sort of a scandal.

Newt Gingrich: He announced his candidacy before the very electable --but probably not going to get the nomination-- Mitt Romney, but after the foolery that was Donald show-me-the-birth-certificate-and-get-clowned-by-the-President Trump. Newt Gingrich jumping into the race so early when there was still speculation that she who shall not be named may run made him the immediate frontrunner. Being the frontrunner in any race places more scrutiny on a person. But when it's in the race to be the leader of the free world the pressure and intensity is increased. And BOOM... We have our first scandal.

Newt Gingrich and that darn Tiffany's bill. He owed up to $500-thousand and didn't even bother to explain why. I don't care how much a woman loves jewelry, there's not that much silver and crystal in the world in Tiffany's that should give reason for a Presidential candidate to owe six figures. Thus with a lack of an explanation and his stoic unapologetic demeanor Newt quickly fell to the back of many a voters mind as more serious candidates made their presence known -- Mitt Romney-- among the more delusional ones.

Newt Gigrich quickly fell to the back of pack with a now dearly departed Tim Pawlenty, and the "who the hell is that candidate" Rick Santorum while Michele Bachmann enjoyed a little front runner magic for a hot minute.

Michele Bachmann: Talk about running in style. Michele Bachmann announced her candidacy at a debate. Caught up in the fervor of a possibly viable female Presidential candidate the Republican electorate sang her praises and blew up her head bigger than it was on the cover of Newsweek. What Bachman's candidacy did was re-invigorate the crazies in the fringe inhabiting the Republican Party under the name of Tea by giving them the she who shall not be named that they love vibe, with several years of experience in Congress to back it up. She was the star of the debate where she announced her candidacy. But too little talking points later she's slid in the polls. All she can say is that "Obamacare" is the reason the country does not have jobs. She can only point to "Obamacare" as the most egregious policy and problem facing our country. And if she is elected President she will devote all of her time to repealing "Obamacare." That's all well and good Michele but what the hell else are you going to do? That's when she talks about dismantling the Department of Education because it makes education worse for our children. She also talks about rewriting the tax code and doing away with the IRS. Talk About biting the hand that feeds you, seeing as how she used to work for our Uncle Sam. Anywho, with only three areas of apparent knowledge and the rest agreeing or disagreeing with her opponents, The Queen of Rage quickly faded to black to let the newest of new comers have a moment in the light.

Herman Cain: One of the first to declare his candidacy didn't really pop up on the popular radar until he won the Florida Straw Poll. (Don't blame me, I didn't vote for him, I just live in the good old Sunshine state.) His straw poll win then made people want to know who he was, what he stood for, and how it could be possible that a Black man was not only conservative and Republican (because that's happened before) but has been endorsed by the Tea Party. WTF. But as quickly as his star rose it fell. Namely on the merits of his 9-9-9 plan that would raise taxes on most everyday regular Americans while not putting a dent in the pocket of the super rich that recently went to Congress and said "keep your F**king" money. (I swear that's what they said.) Beyond that there's his lack of knowledge on foreign policy and his onerous approach to the whole idea of even boning up on the topic. See Ubeki-beki-beki-stan. Or the thunderous applause to the decision to delegate the responsibilites of the federal government on foreign policy, because that's what a real leader does. I guess that's why he doesn't have an answer on the situation in Libya because he needs someone else to answer the question for him.

But Herman Cain's dunce cap is not the biggest issue here facing this front runner. We shall not forget the five women accusing him of sexual harrassment. This is so far beyond Clarence Thomas and Anita Hill it's not even funny. Unfortunately Herman Cain is running for President not being confirmed for the Supreme Court. One requires the scrutiny of the entire country the other requires the scrutiny of the Senate only. Furthermore, I'm just going to say what other bloggers have been hinting at... Herman Cain's got 5 women -- 2 of them White-- accusing him of sexual harrassment. Clarence Thomas just had one Black woman. Sorry ladies. It's true what Ms. Zora said, Black women are still the mule of the Earth. (did you see what happened in the DSK case?) This country has a storied history with Black men being with White women; see Birth of a Nation for reference, also see Emmett Till or O.J. You can't just up and put your hands on a White lady's leg as a Black man and not expect that ish to come out... Unless she invited your hand there. #imjustsayin So um yeah... personal paid off scandal mixed with just general lack of knowledge (my four year old nephew can hold better dialogue than Cain can) leads Herman Cain to leave the front runner spot wide open for someone else.

That someone else was at one time Rick Perry. But not so much anymore. He was begged by Tea Party Americans and uber Christian Conservatives to run for President. I can only guess the reason being that nostalgia is a bitch with a bad attitude. You know he reminds you of W, just more good looking -- handsome devil that he is. He came into the race on a wave of support bolstered by his shoddy jobs record in Texas that many looked at as a godsend. An unemployment rate of 8.4 percent is nothing to write home about. But he got in the race proclaiming to be the jobs governor from the jobs state. A conservative who abhorred abortion but believed in protecting girls from an STD and cancer all at once. "Perrycare" obviously doesn't work for Michele Bachmann, but her tomfoolery aside real scandal came in the form of a rock on a ranch aptly titled "Niggerhead Ranch."

I'm offended to type the words. He thought it was no big deal because that's how all the locals referred to it but dude -- rockhead that you are (see what I did there) -- you can't have a ranch name when the name's a racial slur. I swear the Supreme Court should bring the Fighting Words Doctrine back just so people can really see how we Negroes feel when we're called out of our name. #imjustsayin.

Now Perry's case is the opposite of Cain's. Where Herman Cain's personal scandal overtook his political one the opposite happened for Rick Perry. Black folk were told to get over the ranch named Nigger, but what no one could get over was that "oops." Like dude how do you forget your own talking points that you come up with yourself. The three agencies you would cut if elected President and you can't name them... GTFOH. So "oops it happened again" another potential front runner got bumped from the front.

That leads us to the man who's been in the front and or tied for the front the whole time. Mitt Romney. The political climate seems to be anybody but Mitt even though he's one of the most electable out of all the candidates. The issue with Mitt, he'll do and say anything to win. He's against "Obamacare" but he's solid with the law he passed in Massachusetts. But his flip-flopping is not the problem. Every politician flip flops on an issue. See President Obama's foreign policy decisions. Unfortunately for Mitt, his issue is his religion. He's Mormon. People have problems with that because Mormon's don't necessarily believe in Christ. And they sometimes get into that polygamy thing. So not cool with most of America. And Romney knows it to. Why do you think he didn't show up at the forum in Iowa this past weekend that talked solely about religion. He can't because then he'd be grilled on his Mormonism that some fools in this country seem to believe is a cult. Romney has never been able to get past his religion. And his positions on other issues make him the Kerry candidate of 2012, the one who may be the nominee but probably doesn't deserve to be. Again #imjustsayin'

And that brings us full circle to the initial front runner who's now in the front again. Newt Gingrich. This time the scandal is his alleged lobbying for Freddie Mac. You know that mortgage giant the government owns that helped collectively sink the global economy. Yup. That Freddie Mac. Apparently Newt made a million dollars working as what he calls a "historian" for the company. His job was to craft relationships on THE HILL. That my friend is lobbying done by -- say it with me now -- a lobbyist. But seeing as how Freddie Mac is in a two ton truck crap load of trouble maybe he was a lobbying historian because it will go down in history that Newt was a player in the game that tanked the world's economic infrastructure.

These five candidates all probably want to really be President. But do they deserve it? I mean there are three other candidates also running for the office. One of those candidates I would even vote for. (I love Obama but Jon Huntsman makes good sense) Yet these three haven't had any personal scandal to unfold to put them in the public eye and on the radar of the Republican electorate, nor have they made any political triumphs or follies that would also catapult them to the top of the polls or make them a household name spoken with ire.
Unfortunately this early in the game the front runners have been chosen. I predict this race will come down to a final four of Mitt Romney, Newt Gingrich, Herman Cain and Rick Perry. Right now Santorum, Bachmann, Huntsman, and Paul are all in the race for the veepstakes. Now who wants to bet me different. I'm itching to make a dollar.

1. Do you think any of the presumed front runners could become a runaway breakout candidate?
2. Do any of the front runners have the right idea for the economy?
3. Do the Republicans need to go back to the drawing board?
4. Who do you think would win in a match up against Obama (your opinion not the polls)?
5. If the election were today who would you vote for and why?
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