Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Open Letter To Congress:

Dear United States House of Representatives,

You suck.

No really.

Would you like to know why your approval rating is always the lowest of all 3 branches of government regardless of who the President is? Contrary to what you might think, it's not because Americans have no clue as to what exactly it is that you do around here. (which is a good question, actually) Rather, it's because you do stupid things like you did today, whereby 179 of you demonstrated that you don't even know how to read your own damn House Rules on conduct. If you did, then you would have known that Joe Wilson's outburst against the President is not a partisan issue, nor a free speech issue, nor is its reprimand something that should be given much pause for debate. No, folks, this one is pretty straight forward. Call me crazy, but when the Rules (that you wrote by the way) say to do XYZ, I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that you should probably do XYZ.

In other words, you complicate things that are not complicated. The truth of the matter is, sometimes things are simple. Sometimes life hands you a freebie. Americans would like to think that maybe, just maybe, you people in Congress have the ability to come to a consensus on something. Anything. But alas you can't, because you suck.

When one of your members makes history by becoming the first jackass in 220 years to ever disrespect a sitting United States President during a Presidential address to the United States Congress, and further, when your rules clearly state that this is a violation, the correct answer to the question of "do we sanction this guy?" is an unequivocal "YES." Period.

We are aware that as Congressmen and Congresswomen your natural inclination is to spend countless hours debating making soundbites on the House floor for every media-worthy piece of lobbyist-written legislation that makes its way onto the desks of your respective Elle Woods interns. We are further aware that your prime directive is to put your country first make partisan all things which are not partisan. Your fact-averse approach to the issues that face our nation is astounding. You pride yourselves on putting your party affiliations over the betterment of America as a whole when it needs you most. You are the living embodiment of the phrase "politics-as-usual." These are merely a few of the many contributing factors as to why you suck.

On the bright side, I know that no matter how bad I may suck from time to time, even on my worst day I'll never suck as bad as you do.


The Janitor

P.S. - Be thankful I didn't even go into the Race issue implicit in the fact that the only President that this has ever happened to in the 220-year history of the nation just so happens to be the Black President.
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