The God of War and Guns (GWG) received his bi-monthly offering of blood and death earlier thisweek in the Nation’s capital city. The 2nd%ers, the loyal servants of the GWG and blind followers of the Second Amendment, all rejoiced as the offering was accepted so that they may live and enjoy the use of their weapons undisturbed.
Every four years, the 2nd%ers pray to GWG that he brings them a messenger that promises to keep his word pure and free from regulation and dilution. However, if that messenger doesn’t come, the flock rises up in mass raising their voices to the sky demanding, “We apologize for upsetting you. Please, command us, what do you need?” To which the GWG responds, “Blood and Sacrifice.”
As it is commanded, it must occur. In Washington D.C., thirteen died for you to have “your rights.” Many will mourn, rightly so. But not you. You shouldn’t shed a tear! You shouldn’t offer an apology. You should stand resolved in your faith. You understand that this death is mandatory for your cause. It will occur. It MUST occur. Without it, the GWG will unleash his wrath …. and pass… some sort of … I don’t know… law.
Let them look towards violent movies and video games. Keep the cold steal impeccable by preaching the gospel of “guns don’t kill people; people kill people.” And honor those who have sacrificed to keep Obama away from your god given weapons.
So celebrate. Celebrate followers of the Second Amendment. For the 2nd%ers to fully get their way, blood must be shed to the alter! No background checks and no restrictions based on mental health. Any gun. Any person. Anytime! No restrictions of any kind. Period. Your god must be happy. Because your faith has had several sacrafices. And there's no change on the horizon. He is always watching!
REJOICE 2nd %ers! REJOICE! Your god has been appeased… for now. His holy scripture, the 2nd Amendment, remains untarnished and shines as a beacon for all gun zealots. Go forth and continue to fight the good fight. Your path to righteousness doesn’t end until the right to carry is as pure and free from blemish as ‘IF’ rated diamond.
Know you’re not alone. His army, the Association of Rifles, will always be there to protect and guide you eliminating anyone standing in your way. So go. Go forth and fight the good fight! He's watching!!!
And remember: “From your cold dead hands!!!”