Sunday, October 30, 2011

You Might Be in the Top 1% If...

Ever since the Occupy Wall Street movement has taken America by storm, there's been a lot of discussion about who makes up the 99% and, likewise, who makes up the top 1%.  We love our fellow Americans who have prospered over the years, but many of them do not realize who they are. After all, it's not like you get a "Welcome to the Top 1%" notice in the mail once you make it to the top.  How on Earth can we expect our beloved job creators to know if they are in the Top 1% or not?  Well guess no further; in the spirit of Jeff Foxworthy's "You Might Be a Redneck," we started a list that will help our wealthy brethren identify themselves and embrace their Top 1 percent-ness.  Be sure to add some of your own items in the comments below.

YOU MIGHT BE IN THE TOP 1% IF...
1. Your daily "commute" to the office involves a private helicopter.
2. Your 3 year-old's preschool tuition costs more than most colleges.
3. You have a butler, a maid, and a driver.
4. You actually understand what a private equity firm does.
5. Your Great-Grandparents, Grandparents, and Parents all attended [insert Ivy League College here].
6. You discussed the derivatives and commodities market at breakfast with your parents when you were in grade school.
7. You have a "summer home" in places that most Americans have never heard of.
8. The staff members at the Waldorf Astoria know you on a first-name basis.
9. Your college has a building on its campus named after your family.
10. You live in New York City and haven't seen the inside of a subway.  Ever.
11. Your family has owned businesses and property for at least two or three generations.
12. You have a trust fund.
13. You have a flat screen TV in your bathroom tuned to CNBC.
14. People have actually gotten lost inside your home.
15. You own a private jet.
16. It takes an accounting firm at least 4 weeks to calculate your taxes every year.
17. You have a Manhattan law firm on retainer.
18. Your kids live next to celebrities and have never worked a day in their lives.
19. Your zip code is 06830, 10021, 30327, 60045, 77024, or 90210.
20. You keep your money in offshore accounts.


Let's keep it going.  What else might let people know if they're in the Top 1%?
blog comments powered by Disqus