Wednesday, January 6, 2010

***UPDATED*** Taking the Phrase "Shooting Guard" to a Whole New Level

OK OK OK. Everybody's talking about it and we tried to refrain but the pressure was too much, so we gotta ask: Gilbert Arenas...WTF was you thinking?!?!??!

So let me get this straight...Mr. Arenas, in 2008 you sign a 6-year NBA contract with the Washington Wizards paying you a modest $111,000,000.00 dollars (I could have said $111 Million but I wanted you to see the zero's for the full dramatic effect), which by my math, breaks down to about $18,500,000.00 dollars a year (again w/ the zero's), you play for a team located in D.C. - which for young Black professionals is like hitting the lottery - and you're getting untold additional millions of dollars from corporate sponsorships such as Nintendo Wii and EA Sports (pictured right) just to name a few, you have the ability to throw parties for yourself that have been attended by celebrities, and not to mention you hold the all-time record for the most 3-pointers in Wizards history...

...and after all of that, you felt the need to sacrifice it all in true Plaxico Burress fashion by taking a gun to your locker room. Were you not paying attention when they locked Burress up for the same thing? No? Ok well since you like celebrities, how about T.I.? No? OK, how about Lil' Wayne? No? Not a rap fan? OK, how about Todd Bridges? No? Not a fan of Diff'rent Strokes. OK fine.

Let me break it down for you a different way:

Number eight: never keep no weight on you
Them cats that squeeze your guns can hold jobs too

- Notorious B.I.G.

Translation: you make TOO MUCH GOTDAMN MONEY to be holding a gun in the first place, let alone in a locker room in the Verizon Center where you work at, you friggin genius!!! Who the hell takes guns to work? Do you see Calvin at McDonalds holding a Nine-Milli while he's back there washing lettuce? If you absolutely MUST have a gun around you at all times for protection, at $18 Million a year, dogg, PAY your mans-n-dem a little guap and have THEM hold the gun for you. Or...are you sitting down for this one...hire an official body guard!!! Mind Blowing conecpts here, I know!

If it seems like I'm shouting at you, it's because I am.

One last word:
You have too many kids - like my little brother - looking up to you for you to be out here doing dumb stuff like this. Think about that next time before you act.

That's it I'm done!

***UPDATE 1/6/10*** NBA Suspends Arenas Indefinitely WITHOUT PAY!!! Every Game missed will cost Arenas $147,208.00.
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