Sunday, March 22, 2009

The Notorious A.I.G.


"Uhh, it's the ten jack commandments
What, uhh, uhh
Liddy can't tell me nothin bout this stock, uh-huh
Can't tell me nothin bout this robbery, this greed
To my hustlin' brokers
Traders on wall street, I ain't forget you traders
My triple stock brokers, word up

"One two three four five six seven eight nine..."
"TEN"

I been in this game for years, it made me a animal
There's rules to this shit, I wrote me a manual
A step by step booklet for AIG to get
their stock on track, not their bonus pushed back

Rule nombre uno: never let no one know
how much, dough you hold, cause you know
The bonuses breed jealousy 'specially
if the economy fucked up, get your ass stuck up

Number two: never let em know your next move
Don't you know Wall Street move in silence and violence
Take it from your boy Madoff (uh-huh)
He done squeezed mad loot from these cats for they bricks and chips

Number three: never trust no-bo-dy
Chris Dodd'lll set that ass up, properly gassed up
Geitner to mask up, shit, for that fast buck
Bernie Fank'll be layin in the bushes to light that ass up

Number four: know you heard this before
Never trade high, on your own sub-prime

Number five: never sell insurance where you rest at
I don't care if they want a ounce, tell em bounce

Number six: that god damn credit, dead it
You think them bonus cats payin you back, shit forget it

Seven: this rule is so underrated
Keep your Financial Products and Insurance completely seperated
Sup-primes and insurance don't mix like two dicks and no bitch
Find yourself in serious shit

Number eight: never say the contracts got you
Them cats that get bonuses can find new jobs too

Number nine shoulda been number one to me
If you ain't gettin bagged stay the fuck from TV (uh-huh)
If the public think you ballin they ain't tryin listen
They be sittin in your building, waitin to start hittin

Number ten: a strong word called recession
Strictly for rich men, not for poor men
If you ain't got the insurance then say hell no
Cause America want they money rain sleet hail snow
Follow these rules you'll have mad bailouts to break up
If not, Madoff life sentence, on the wake up
Congress hit your temple, watch your CEO shake up
The Fed did your makeup...when you pass,
Your girl Pelosi fucked the Republican brain up,
Heard in three weeks they bailed a whole bank up,
Heard they make a good bailout, and hooked Bernie Frank up
Gotta go gotta go, more Banks to bailout, word up, uhh"


OK so we kinda talked about this a little bit earlier in the week before AIG's CEO testified in front of Congress last week, but this is still something that is emblematic of the entire problem of late. AIG is an insurance company like Prudential or Allstate. Now take Allstate for example...they insure automobiles right? You buy a car, the state makes you get insurance on that car, and the insurance company looks at your car and says, ok your car is worth $20,000, we have $20,000 so we will insure your car if something should happen to it. AIG decided that it would be a GREAT idea if it jumped into this whole sub-prime mortgage backed securities circus and started providing insurance policies to financial banks like JP Morgan Chase, Goldman Sachs, Lehman Bro's, etc. for all the tons of money that they were sucking out of the American public.

Just one problem...

Unlike Allstate that had $20 G's on hand to insure your Ford Focus, AIG had NOW WAY IN HELL to back up the level of money that was needed in order to insure the Lehman Bro's of the world. And they KNEW THIS before they issued these policies. But they did it anyway. Why? Because they assumed that the worst case scenario would be maybe one or two financial giants coming to them for money at the same time. Instead, ALL of the financial firms came to them at the same time. Thus, AIG goes broke and crawls on their hands and knees to the Federal Government who allowed them to get too big in the first place.

The Federal Government decides that AIG is too important to allow them to fail, and thus kicks them down with a 170 Billion (with a "B") dollars. *pinky finger to mouth like Austin Powers*

Now since the Federal Government seems to be in the business of bailing out every company that goes broke anyway, this didn't seem to be out of the ordinary. Only one problem...

...AIG decides to take a piece of this pie and give $165 million of it (million with an "M") to the very friggin geniuses who came up with the ideas that got them into this trouble in the first place.

Congress decides to RE-act (as opposed to being pro-active) and decides to pose a special tax on the people who got the bonuses. Problem with that is, that is the classic definition of what is known as a "Bill of Attainder" which is unconstitutional. Not to mention it's a tax that is taking place after-the-fact which is also unconstitutional because it is "Ex Post Facto."

A lot of issues here:

1. Will we ever get the bonus money back from these cats?

2. Should we even try?

3. Does the fact that this entire mess happened in the first place finally put the nail in the coffin to the entire concept that the unfettered capitalist market is in the best interest for America?

4. Should AIG even paid out the bonuses in the first place?

5. Should Secretary of Treasurer Tim Geitner resign?

6. Is American, in general, OVER-reacting to the way business is done on Wall Street?

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